I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
