Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
