You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I'm sobbing to NWA
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize