Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
