i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Found your dick twin last night
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
