Your mouth is God's brothel.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
