I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
