Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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