Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
