So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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