For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
