I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
