You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
