I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize