dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
