Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
