hotel room ftw
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
