Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
