One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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