Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
