At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
