Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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