I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
