My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
