My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
