I wish I only lived at night.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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