I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
