i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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