I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
