This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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