So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
