I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize