that's an acceptable place to lick
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
