if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize