Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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