im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
