So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
