who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
