3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
