It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
