I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
