I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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