Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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