she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
We are all done wearing pants today
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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