i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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