; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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