I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he told me I talked like a deaf person
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
