I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
