Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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