At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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