was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
