It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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