There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
