hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
How's work?
Spinning.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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