Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
