he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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