Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
