pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
He kissed a someone with a penis
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
