You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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