eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
