im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
