i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
