I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
