You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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