You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I need to sanitize my soul.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
